The hormonal time machine

Monday, July 28 2008

The smell of stale pancake hit Mrs Bennet that morning as she stumbled into the kitchen half asleep. She hadn’t even had chance to open her eyes properly and despite requests for breakfast as her children spotted her, she attempted to reach cereal boxes. Crunching coco pops onto the cold stone floor, as they fell out of one of the boxes, Mrs Bennet felt nauseas as the pancake aroma brought her to life. She now equated pancakes with her large family, after finding a quote in a library book.

“Pancakes are like big families. It doesn’t matter if the first one doesn’t come out quite right, because there’s more to follow!”

She didn’t consider any of her children a flopped pancake. If cooking was anything to go by, a pancake did what it wanted, often had a mind of its own and sometimes needed a bit of help to get out of the pan.

“I suppose if you think about it, they are like children then,” she pondered, wondering where her mind was going. An hour later, Mrs Bennet thought she had pressed a button and had been transported to 2018 because the behaviour she was witnessing resembled that of three stroppy teenagers, who were obviously struggling with that time-of-the-month. She was sure she didn’t show these moody swings at such a young age. Thirteen maybe, but not four, six and eight!

Much as she’d prefer to leave them all in the car, she decided she had better get them out in the fresh air. A run around in the park might settle them and separate them. Mrs Bennet was right. After half an hour’s play, the time machine took her and the children back to 2008. The children, like pancakes, had become edible and sweet. The little twin Bennets however, saw it as their cue to cry.