Toothpaste goo and passing go

Friday, March 6 ‘09

Absentmindedly, Mrs Bennet pushed the plunger on the liquid soap, nestling on the bathroom sink. Only it wasn’t soap. It was toothpaste. The little Miss Bennets preferred the dispenser method of extracting their striped toothpaste and had placed it at easy reach.
“Yuk,” cried Mrs Bennet, trying to wash away the sticky goo in her palm, which now matched its caked companions in the sink itself. At least it wasn’t on the floor or down the front of the Miss Bennets’ clean green uniform sweatshirts this morning.
“They’re aiming straight at last,” she muttered as a mother of boys would perhaps for another purpose.
Counting to 10, Mrs Bennet ventured downstairs to resolve a conflict with Miss Bennet Number Two. Miss Naomi Bennet, being a proud school councillor had left early that morning for an important breakfast meeting, where hot chocolate and croissants were readily available for the young politicians. Perhaps a little jealous of her sister’s VIP treatment, Miss Emily Bennet wanted some VIP treatment of her own. And so to get it she refused to pick up her lunch box. The Scooby Doo van had to leave in five minutes to guarantee an on-time arrival at the school gate. With four children to get strapped in – one of them refusing to budge – Mrs Bennet feared the Scooby Doo flight might be slightly turbulent.
“Mummy, I wanted school dinners today, not sandwiches!” declared the miniature teenager.
“I’m sorry, but you can have them tomorrow. I didn’t have any change today,” explained the mother.
“But I wanted them today!” replied the persistent seven-year-old, with a stamping action from the left food for good effect.
Mrs Bennet chose to ignore the fine acting, scooped up a surprised twin and carried her to the car. Miss Megan Bennet – knowing it was perhaps wise to keep quiet right now – meekly followed, while Miss Rosie Bennet waited patiently for the scooping mechanism to return.
Mrs Bennet did note Miss Megan’s behaviour. Why was it that as soon as one sibling was told off, another immediately went into perfect child mode? Even the little Miss Twin Bennets did this.
Amazingly because Mrs Bennet clearly wasn’t biting at Miss Emily’s bait, the issue resolved itself, partly because Miss Bennet realised she could so easily lose her lunch altogether – to her youngest two sisters who would have readily ripped into it, and had done on occasion.
Some days the effort of passing go – i.e. the front door – was such that Mrs Bennet felt she'd run a marathon by the time she got to the school gate. Some days she didn’t get her £200, others she felt she’d been sent to gaol and the days when there weren’t any hiccups, she’d felt she’d bought Mayfair and Park Lane. Today she would have been lucky if she’d acquired Old Kent Road. One finished house would be nice. Thanks to the credit crunch, the Bennet’s six month building project looked likely to stretch to a three year one. But at least the roof was on.
The school bell interrupted Mrs Bennet's monopoly thoughts. It was nine o’clock. She wondered if she lifted the Miss Twin Bennets out of their pushchair and allowed them to follow their sisters into their various classrooms – which they most definitely would do – the teachers would notice? Then she could slump over their double buggy, bottom in one side, feet in the other and sleep until 3.15pm. It was a nice thought.