Goodbye to DIY

Friday, September 25 '09

Mr. Bennet did not yet know it, but Mrs. Bennet had banned him from any future D.I.Y efforts which may be needed in future at their modern bite-size Pemberley. When a curtain rail fell down in Miss Bennet Number One’s bedroom, hitting the bed with such force it made Mrs. Bennet jump, she vowed that was enough. If Miss Naomi Bennet had been asleep at the time, she would now be suffering from a severe headache. Only a few days ago, Miss Bennet Number Three had experienced an avalanche of coats after tying to reach her fleece. The entire rail fell off the wall, smattering its contents on the five-year-old. Mrs. Bennet now seriously considered employing a Darcy in the Dirt on a permanent basis. Book shelves were also a taboo subject if it involved a hammer and nail. Whilst breastfeeding Miss Bennet Number One on the marital bed, some nine years ago, the shelf behind her collapsed, sending the Chronicles of the 20th century hurtling in the cow's direction. It narrowly missed both mother and child by inches.
A decade on, today was also significant. It marked the end of Mr. Bennet’s D.I.Y exploits, no matter how simple.