Toiletry shares needed!

Saturday, December 7 08

Mrs Bennet worked out that by the time the little twin Bennets were potty trained, she would have changed about 32,760 nappies. It was no wonder her hands were dry. But she had at least perfected her skill and achieved a personal best in terms of pit stop timing. With two little bottoms performing in sync, it was paramount the cleaning-up process was fast and efficient – to eliminate not only cries but smell.
Standing in a supermarket queue, it was obvious she wasn’t the only one who could do with taking out shares in baby toiletries. The lady in front of her was buying countless wet wipes, stacked like bricks on the conveyor belt. Mrs Bennet couldn’t help but comment.
“That’s an awful lot of wet wipes!” she remarked.
“They’re on offer – buy one get one free. I couldn’t resist and thought I’d build up a supply for my daughter who’s expecting in four months time. I’m buying 40 for the price of 20!”
Mrs Bennet didn’t know what to say. Calculating in her mind, she worked out that in four months, she too would get through the same amount. The thought of finding room for so many wet wipes however completely put her off the idea.
With five daughters, Mrs Bennet knew only full well how many pounds she would have to spend on toiletries in the coming years. Poor Mr Bennet - six lots of PMT were just too much for one man! She recalled getting her own dad to buy her sanitary towels because she couldn’t face the embarrassment of getting them herself. Mr Bennet, one of five sons, had no idea what he would be facing!
“I think I need to set up a “time of the month” account,” she thought.
Only yesterday, Miss Emily Bennet presented her with a small white bullet, she’d discovered on the driveway. Not yet aware of the significance of this highly important item, she happily gave it back to her mother.
“One day, she won’t be showing that around quite so innocently,” thought Mrs Bennet, relishing in her daughter’s innocence.
Mr Bennet followed grinning.
“Emily found it and told me: “I’m going to give this to Mummy. She’ll be pleased because did you know Daddy, she collects them!”
Mrs Bennet laughed. How true. Perhaps she should be collecting in bulk now, ready for the onslaught of Bennet hormonal periods in the coming years!