Sexy Sat Nav needed

Thursday, September 4 08

"It will take you two days to reach your destination!" announced the formidable Irish voice of Sybil, as she took her place in the front passenger seat.
Mrs Bennet, who had never been ordered about by a body-less female before, turned and looked quizzically at her human travelling companion, who did have a body.
"What did she say?!" she asked in disbelief. They were only going to Cheltenham, 12 miles away. "She's got a bit confused. She hasn't found a signal yet and still thinks she's in Spain. She's programmed to find Alicante airport," replied her friend, who was responsible for calling the Bennet collective, "The Pink."
Torrential rain was hammering against the windscreen; darkness was enveloping the Scooby Doo Van and wipers were wiping so fast they were almost flying. Mrs Bennet stared at Sybil, a portable Sat Nav box sitting on her friend's lap, then turned to her friend, whose own two mini pinks were at school.
"I'm sure Mr Bennet won't mind. Can't we go to Alicante instead?" she asked.
Having got lost on Monday night in Rodborough, her childhood parish, Mrs Bennet was grateful for any help when it came to directions, which never had been her strong point. As an 18-year-old cub reporter for the local newspaper she used to drive a mustard-yellow mini, baring the registration A319HDF, which according to her friends, stood for A Hopeless Direction Follower.
Sybil was being quite forthright with instructions. The little twin Bennets, who were chirping in the back, were stunned into silence as they tried to figure out where the foreign voice was coming from.
"After 600 metres, take the second exit on the right!"
"Oh help," thought Mrs Bennet, knowing full well she had a mental block when it came to lefts and rights. Mr Bennet had got used to her inability to differentiate between the two and instead told his wife to go "this way and that."
"I thought you were only joking when you wrote about it in your blog," remarked her pink friend, "but you weren't were you!"
Sybil chose not to comment. She just repeated her order.
"Why did you choose a lady Sat Nav?" asked Mrs Bennet.
"I didn't. Mr Pink did. It's funny because he doesn't usually like a woman telling him what to do. But then may be it would be worse taking orders from a man!" replied her friend, adding:
"Personally I rather fancy having a Mr Tom Tom keeping me company."
"I don't know, I'd prefer Mr Latte or Mr Cappuccino to help me on my way," chipped in Mrs Bennet, "So long as he was kind and had a deep sexy Irish voice."
Sybil finally announced they had reached their destination with an air of victory. Mrs Bennet resolved to ask Santa Clause for a Mr Latte Sat Nav for Christmas - so long as he was programmed to take her to Alicante and instructions on the box didn't say "body not included."